Email from Dan to Family and Friends:
Hey yall. As a lot of you know, but many probably don't, I changed my last name to Swanson when I got married. Kinda weird, I know, but thats what I did. So, here is my new email address....
daniel . . . @gmail.com
Great awesome fantastico thanks a bunch.
-Dan Swanson
ps Matt I know you told me not to but I did it anyways, hopefully you'll forgive me
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
No Matter What
Email from Faffy to Ellie:
Hey, Elle,
Hey, Elle,
No matter what you decide, I will still love you. Just wanted you to know.
Pop
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Love You LOTS Mama
Email from Ellie to Mom (Monkey):
i have had a file squirreled away from college that ive never
shown you... mostly by accident, mostly because i was always "saving
it" for a mother's day card (and forgetting to give it to you of
course.) i was originally writing a journal entry called "Meet the
Voices In My Head" about all the women who have influenced me. Just
wanted to share some of it, because 1) I keep forgetting to give it to
you and you should hear it, 2) its nice about you, and you just said
you were feeling kinda down... and 3) i have to reward you for saying
nice things to me like you did in your last email, hehehe.
love you LOTS mama.
:)
Lovable Characteristics:
Energetic. Runs marathons, hikes, throws fundraising parties, and
volunteers.
Tough. I was born while she was in medical school, and my sister Tabie
was born during her residency. My first memory is of her holding my
sister in a rocking chair, crying. I have rarely seen Malm cry. She
has guts. She had a sea kayaking incident in Hawaii that broke several
of her ribs, and she was running, cooking, and generally racing around
before the crackling, broken-bone sound stopped.
Great sense of humor. When Pop sic'd an emu on her, Malm was not
nearly as pissed off as she should have been.
Gourmet Chef. During the years she took off from work, Malm made
everything from scratch. Sweet bread, broccoli soup, and fruit
rollups; tortillas, sushi, and noodles on Mexican, Japanese, and
Italian nights, respectively. She still cooks dinner every night, but
is more likely to buy the starch stuff. Also - obsessed with beets.
Eccentric. Her childhood family was nutso. She started out life as
Bonita Buchwach, with siblings named Brian, Brett, Brendan, Barbara,
Bruce, and Buzzy by their father Buck. Granted, she's come a long way
to be called Bonnie Swanson, but I think little Bonita is still
trapped in there somewhere. And no, there is no Latina blood--she's
half Russian Jew (father Buck Buchwach) and half old-family, white-as-a-callalily American (mother Elinor
Akers). My middle name also comes from my grandmother's branch of the
family, its Elinor Alden as in John and Priscilla Alden of the
Mayflower.
Loyal. Willing to listen to me whine for hours when I am upset. Family
matters more than anything to her, Malm has got typical mother-bear
syndrome for her cubbies. (Cubby was my nickname as a toddler.)
Independent. I have to call her if I want to talk, she rarely calls
me. Malm is available, but not at the drop of a hat.
Life Lessons:
Keep some money of your own aside, "just in case."
There is no one in life you can depend on in quite the same way that
you can depend on your Mom.
Anything bad that happens to you is only as bad as you let it be, so man up and chin up.
It is better to be happy and single than unhappily married.
The best revenge is a good life.
Cooking a good meal, with love, is a gift of the highest caliber.
Two parents are better than one, for both the parents and the kids.
Sometimes, the smartest thing a smart woman can do, is to be a stay-at-home Mom.
Flaws that make her human:
Quick-tempered.
Malm has never been particularly cuddly, I always wanted just a few
more hugs, praise, and positive reinforcement than I received. But I
always knew she loved me tons, don't get the wrong idea. (I'm a love
bug. No, really--I once was a love bug in a community production, I
had glitter antenna and went all around the audience hugging kids.)
Email from Mama (Monkey) to Ellie:
Ellie, you hit the nail on the head. I could list a few more flaws (and I'm sure you did, heh heh) but it was nice to see my good qualities noticed by you. The voices in my head usually list the stupid, selfish, undesirable traits of mine, and rarely pats on the back. And I'm sure I'm not alone--is that what your voices do? So I think tomorrow during my morning musings I'll list the things I most love about you. I know I'm not supposed to read them afterwards, but it'll help when I next write a letter to you to at least remember them .
You know, it's funny, but I feel like I admire you SO MUCH lately for sticking with med school even though it is so difficult and mind and soul-numbing. That takes a lot more inner fortitude than just cruising through, studying hard, taking tests and staying in the middle of the pack like most of your classmates.. You've always been extremely sensitive to the inner world, and med school does not HAVE an inner world--everything's external. There's no reflection involved--no time. Anyway, I admire you for keeping your chin up and surviving. I hope your residency experience is better than mine. I was stuck in a specialty that didn't really inspire me, and I knew it, AND I had two adorable young children at home that embodied everything that was pleasurable and meaningful in my life. And I didn't need the money one bit. There I was, staying away often two nights out of three, dealing with very sick people who often died, often in ICU's or CCU's that were windowless and smelled of medications, and didn't allow the natural world to intrude, and were mostly filled with old people who were not heathy even besides their illness--it was like entering Hell to me, night after night after night. And then I'd come home to the Highlands, full of greenery and sunlight, and two healthy cute kids laughing and playing and it was like I was in Heaven. So there I went, passing from light to dark every day, and hating every minute that I was away from Heaven. EXCEPT when I did Ob--I loved that, because bringing new life into the world was heaven to me. Even when it occasionally went wrong, because it generally didn't. I should've gone with my heart. So when you get to the end of med school, go with your heart when you decide what to do, and I'll very much understand,whatever it is. The hardest thing is determining whether it IS your heart, or whether it's just fatigue.
WEll, don't want to keep taking you away from your studies. Oh yeah, one more thing--funny you should send me your musings about my good/bad qualities. John and I did NOT get along very well while I was in California. I was thinking how awful he'd feel if I died suddenly, car accident or whatever, and how he'd feel guilty for the rest of his life for our sometimes harsh words and disagreements. So I thought I should write a letter to him for him to read if I die, in which I tell him that no matter what he says or how angry we get with each other, I KNOW he loves and respects me, so not to feel guilty or bad, that I was the happiest mother in the world and eminently proud of the person he was. So in case I don't get around to actually writing the letter, be sure to tell him, ok? I'd write the same thing to you, but you and I aren't fighting right now. :)
Gotta go, love you lots,
mama
i have had a file squirreled away from college that ive never
shown you... mostly by accident, mostly because i was always "saving
it" for a mother's day card (and forgetting to give it to you of
course.) i was originally writing a journal entry called "Meet the
Voices In My Head" about all the women who have influenced me. Just
wanted to share some of it, because 1) I keep forgetting to give it to
you and you should hear it, 2) its nice about you, and you just said
you were feeling kinda down... and 3) i have to reward you for saying
nice things to me like you did in your last email, hehehe.
love you LOTS mama.
:)
Lovable Characteristics:
Energetic. Runs marathons, hikes, throws fundraising parties, and
volunteers.
Tough. I was born while she was in medical school, and my sister Tabie
was born during her residency. My first memory is of her holding my
sister in a rocking chair, crying. I have rarely seen Malm cry. She
has guts. She had a sea kayaking incident in Hawaii that broke several
of her ribs, and she was running, cooking, and generally racing around
before the crackling, broken-bone sound stopped.
Great sense of humor. When Pop sic'd an emu on her, Malm was not
nearly as pissed off as she should have been.
Gourmet Chef. During the years she took off from work, Malm made
everything from scratch. Sweet bread, broccoli soup, and fruit
rollups; tortillas, sushi, and noodles on Mexican, Japanese, and
Italian nights, respectively. She still cooks dinner every night, but
is more likely to buy the starch stuff. Also - obsessed with beets.
Eccentric. Her childhood family was nutso. She started out life as
Bonita Buchwach, with siblings named Brian, Brett, Brendan, Barbara,
Bruce, and Buzzy by their father Buck. Granted, she's come a long way
to be called Bonnie Swanson, but I think little Bonita is still
trapped in there somewhere. And no, there is no Latina blood--she's
half Russian Jew (father Buck Buchwach) and half old-family, white-as-a-callalily American (mother Elinor
Akers). My middle name also comes from my grandmother's branch of the
family, its Elinor Alden as in John and Priscilla Alden of the
Mayflower.
Loyal. Willing to listen to me whine for hours when I am upset. Family
matters more than anything to her, Malm has got typical mother-bear
syndrome for her cubbies. (Cubby was my nickname as a toddler.)
Independent. I have to call her if I want to talk, she rarely calls
me. Malm is available, but not at the drop of a hat.
Life Lessons:
Keep some money of your own aside, "just in case."
There is no one in life you can depend on in quite the same way that
you can depend on your Mom.
Anything bad that happens to you is only as bad as you let it be, so man up and chin up.
It is better to be happy and single than unhappily married.
The best revenge is a good life.
Cooking a good meal, with love, is a gift of the highest caliber.
Two parents are better than one, for both the parents and the kids.
Sometimes, the smartest thing a smart woman can do, is to be a stay-at-home Mom.
Flaws that make her human:
Quick-tempered.
Malm has never been particularly cuddly, I always wanted just a few
more hugs, praise, and positive reinforcement than I received. But I
always knew she loved me tons, don't get the wrong idea. (I'm a love
bug. No, really--I once was a love bug in a community production, I
had glitter antenna and went all around the audience hugging kids.)
Email from Mama (Monkey) to Ellie:
Ellie, you hit the nail on the head. I could list a few more flaws (and I'm sure you did, heh heh) but it was nice to see my good qualities noticed by you. The voices in my head usually list the stupid, selfish, undesirable traits of mine, and rarely pats on the back. And I'm sure I'm not alone--is that what your voices do? So I think tomorrow during my morning musings I'll list the things I most love about you. I know I'm not supposed to read them afterwards, but it'll help when I next write a letter to you to at least remember them .
You know, it's funny, but I feel like I admire you SO MUCH lately for sticking with med school even though it is so difficult and mind and soul-numbing. That takes a lot more inner fortitude than just cruising through, studying hard, taking tests and staying in the middle of the pack like most of your classmates.. You've always been extremely sensitive to the inner world, and med school does not HAVE an inner world--everything's external. There's no reflection involved--no time. Anyway, I admire you for keeping your chin up and surviving. I hope your residency experience is better than mine. I was stuck in a specialty that didn't really inspire me, and I knew it, AND I had two adorable young children at home that embodied everything that was pleasurable and meaningful in my life. And I didn't need the money one bit. There I was, staying away often two nights out of three, dealing with very sick people who often died, often in ICU's or CCU's that were windowless and smelled of medications, and didn't allow the natural world to intrude, and were mostly filled with old people who were not heathy even besides their illness--it was like entering Hell to me, night after night after night. And then I'd come home to the Highlands, full of greenery and sunlight, and two healthy cute kids laughing and playing and it was like I was in Heaven. So there I went, passing from light to dark every day, and hating every minute that I was away from Heaven. EXCEPT when I did Ob--I loved that, because bringing new life into the world was heaven to me. Even when it occasionally went wrong, because it generally didn't. I should've gone with my heart. So when you get to the end of med school, go with your heart when you decide what to do, and I'll very much understand,whatever it is. The hardest thing is determining whether it IS your heart, or whether it's just fatigue.
WEll, don't want to keep taking you away from your studies. Oh yeah, one more thing--funny you should send me your musings about my good/bad qualities. John and I did NOT get along very well while I was in California. I was thinking how awful he'd feel if I died suddenly, car accident or whatever, and how he'd feel guilty for the rest of his life for our sometimes harsh words and disagreements. So I thought I should write a letter to him for him to read if I die, in which I tell him that no matter what he says or how angry we get with each other, I KNOW he loves and respects me, so not to feel guilty or bad, that I was the happiest mother in the world and eminently proud of the person he was. So in case I don't get around to actually writing the letter, be sure to tell him, ok? I'd write the same thing to you, but you and I aren't fighting right now. :)
Gotta go, love you lots,
mama
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
The Betty Richter Poster That Looked Like Aunt Betty
Email from Ellie to Faffy:
dont know why, but i thought of this poster the other day:
made me sad. :(
we should get a copy of it somehow (if you want.) i actually looked
online briefly, but it was sold out at the two places i looked...
anyway, just wanted to let you know i was thinking re: betty and
missing her.
love you lots,
ellie
dont know why, but i thought of this poster the other day:
made me sad. :(
we should get a copy of it somehow (if you want.) i actually looked
online briefly, but it was sold out at the two places i looked...
anyway, just wanted to let you know i was thinking re: betty and
missing her.
love you lots,
ellie
Don't Get Excited
Email from Faffy to Ellie:
Hi, Elle,
I'm sending you and Dan some light, medically related reading in a big
envelope. Nothing special so don't get excited when it comes.
Love,
Pop
Hi, Elle,
I'm sending you and Dan some light, medically related reading in a big
envelope. Nothing special so don't get excited when it comes.
Love,
Pop
You've Been Good For Me
Email from Mom (Monkey) to Ellie:
You've been good for me. You encouraged me to get closer to Annie, and hers is a friendship that I believe will end up being one of the most positive aspects of my life. And you introduced me to a candidate I can actually support, not just vote for because he's "not X". Thanks!
You know we're going to the island (Annie, Suzanne, and I) on Sept 22-29. Annie suggested we all work on "The Artist's Way", by Cameron. I think you would love it--it's a 12 week (but aspects of it are lifelong) program to help people get more in touch with the creative aspects of their lives. Their are two constant tasks, among other intermittent ones. One is to write, every single morning, three pages--takes about 1/2 hour. YOu're not supposed to edit, or worry about what it actually says--in fact you're not even supposed to re-read it for at least 8 weeks, nor can anyone else read it. It helps empty your mind, kind of like meditation, or get rid of all the distractions and mundane thoughts that flit thru ones mind. Oh yeah, and the other task is to have a weekly "artist's date". That's where you go out with the artist within you--ALONE--no spouses, friends allowed--and do something that the artist within you wants to do. Kind of like "the special days" I used to have with each of you kids. So you can go for a walk on the beach, go to an antique store, create a collage, go for a merry-go-round ride, whatever--just allow the creative child in you to really observe and experience what's going on. Sorry for going on--I just finished my three pages, and I think I got in "the mode" for writing!
Anyway, you should do it sometime--not now. :) I'm feeling kind of down lately--seeing my mom, feeling so scared and dumb learning how to do medical procedures and ultrasounds amidst all these bright capable people. See, I told you I know exactly how you feel at medical school! But these feelings will pass, or at least lessen, and I'll get better at it. That's the NICE thing about being old---perspective.
I love you lots, looking forward so much to seeing you guys in October!,
mama
You've been good for me. You encouraged me to get closer to Annie, and hers is a friendship that I believe will end up being one of the most positive aspects of my life. And you introduced me to a candidate I can actually support, not just vote for because he's "not X". Thanks!
You know we're going to the island (Annie, Suzanne, and I) on Sept 22-29. Annie suggested we all work on "The Artist's Way", by Cameron. I think you would love it--it's a 12 week (but aspects of it are lifelong) program to help people get more in touch with the creative aspects of their lives. Their are two constant tasks, among other intermittent ones. One is to write, every single morning, three pages--takes about 1/2 hour. YOu're not supposed to edit, or worry about what it actually says--in fact you're not even supposed to re-read it for at least 8 weeks, nor can anyone else read it. It helps empty your mind, kind of like meditation, or get rid of all the distractions and mundane thoughts that flit thru ones mind. Oh yeah, and the other task is to have a weekly "artist's date". That's where you go out with the artist within you--ALONE--no spouses, friends allowed--and do something that the artist within you wants to do. Kind of like "the special days" I used to have with each of you kids. So you can go for a walk on the beach, go to an antique store, create a collage, go for a merry-go-round ride, whatever--just allow the creative child in you to really observe and experience what's going on. Sorry for going on--I just finished my three pages, and I think I got in "the mode" for writing!
Anyway, you should do it sometime--not now. :) I'm feeling kind of down lately--seeing my mom, feeling so scared and dumb learning how to do medical procedures and ultrasounds amidst all these bright capable people. See, I told you I know exactly how you feel at medical school! But these feelings will pass, or at least lessen, and I'll get better at it. That's the NICE thing about being old---perspective.
I love you lots, looking forward so much to seeing you guys in October!,
mama
Sunday, September 9, 2007
You Are . . .
Email from Dan to Ellie:
you are smart
you are beautiful
you are amazing
you are talented in many ways
you are compassionate
you are passionate
you are make me happy
you are smart
you are beautiful
you are amazing
you are talented in many ways
you are compassionate
you are passionate
you are make me happy
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