Sad News

Email from Ellie to Family and Friends:

I want to get this over with, so I don't have keep re-telling the story - as
of today, I am no longer pregnant.

It's better now than later - since most likely it was something wrong with
the baby. Better to have a natural and fairly early loss. On the other hand,
I wish it had happened far earlier (or not at all) - before I had known
about the pregnancy, with months to imagine the baby as a new family member.
(Darn technology and its early detection.)

I had some symptoms on Thursday. On Friday at the OB the baby wasn't
measuring right - either something was wrong, or my dates were way off. The
OB was somewhat concerned, she said to remember that about 1 in 5
pregnancies end in miscarriage, etc. - which made me suspect and start to
mentally prepare, even while hoping for the best. For those of you who tend
to worry - there is no reason to believe that this will affect my health or
future ability to have a baby, particularly since I have already carried a
baby to term.

Well, I got the bad news out, hopefully answering any questions you might
have had. If it's okay, I don't want to discuss it in further detail. It
feels very personal, but unfortunately it's the kind of news that can't be
kept private.

In that vein, please do go ahead and tell anyone that already knows about
the pregnancy, particularly if they bring it up. The more I can avoid
discussing this, the better. I'm dreading all the people who know about the
pregnancy, who I know will ask, "so when are you due again?" and other
questions of that nature.

And now, back to the appellate brief due tomorrow, courtesy of law school
the life-eater. (Yes, I could probably get an extension out of this, but a)
its a good distraction, and b) sabotaging law school will only make me feel
worse.)


Much love,

Ellie


Email from Hayley to Ellie and Dan:

We love you guys - please give Teddy an extra big hug for us.

All our love,

Hay and Jay

Email from Ellie to Hayley:

Hey Ms Hay -

Never got a chance to chat with you - good luck with your surgery.

- Ellie (& the boys)


Email from Jordan to Ellie:

I've been thinking about your loss all day and how sad it must be for your family.  I'm very happy to hear that it sounds like more wonderful kids like Teddy will be in your future when you are ready.

Seeing you with him in DC made me more excited to be a mom - it was clear that you took utter delight in the role and that Dan is right there with you.  I am daunted by the prospect of motherhood in part because my dad was not around to be much of a parent, but seeing the way that you and Dan divide up the job despite demanding careers is inspiring.  I don't know when I will become a parent, but when I do, I know I'll be turning to you for advice!

Anyhow, just know that I'm thinking about you and yours.

Email from Erica to Ellie:

I love you Ellie.  And I'm with you in sadness.  That's it, really.
So much love to you and your family,
E

Email from Marilyn to Ellie and Dan:

Oh, Ellie and Dan, I am sad for you. But you have many fertile years ahead. Take care of yourself. See you soon.

Love, nana

Email from Leslie to Ellie:

Ellie,

so sorry to hear you're not pregnant anymore. if you ever do want to talk about it i'm always available to lend an ear, but of course i understand if you don't want to talk about it. does friday still work for you? looking forward to seeing you, dear one.

love always

les

Email from Ellie to Leslie:

yeah friday works. we can talk when you get here - but im doing okay.

love you,

ellie

Videos

El Dawg

Email from Leslie to Ellie:

el dawg. i'm thinking of begging adam to start trying to get pregnant very soon! it won't take much begging but we were going to wait so we could do this guatemala trip and not worry about drinking/eating gross food. i guess you guys said that's not a big deal anyway. 

but i had childhood studies class today and a lactation consultant came in and it was just so wonderful and fascinating to learn about breastfeeding and i really think sooner is better for us to have a baby because i just have these piddly jobs right now. and if i teach comp next year it will be such a low commitment it would be perfect to do with a baby.

ANYWAY! so i have a question: when does pregnancy become impossible to cover up with the right clothes. i'm thinking about this in terms of timing things so i won't be giant for job interviews in august-october. when you were preggers with t-dog when did it become un-cover-up-able?

love you mommy ellie!

les

Email from Ellie to Leslie:

Usually with your first pregnancy its easier to keep things secret for a longer time, because your stomach muscles are all tight and pretty still. :P

It kind of varies, plus with the right clothes you can really hide things. If you really care about them not noticing at all, you probably wouldn't want to be more than 3-4 months along. But you might be able to go up to 5?

Email from Leslie to Ellie:

thanks lady!