my dear ellie,
thank you for your wonderful note aka novel. yes, i do think woman-to-woman communication is better about these things. dan tells us very little.
1. the ceremony you describe sounds good, especially the music--we'll probably rely on your unitarian minister friend for the ceremony as I'm not sure i can come up with the right rabbi. i will make a few efforts in that direction. are you jewish through your mother? was her mother jewish or her father? we are reconstructionists who believe that one jewish parent is good enough--after all, jewish dna is jewish dna. not that any of this matters to us, but a few jewish traditions at the ceremony would be very meaningful. we were married by a jewish unitarian minister because my husband is not jewish.
2. hand written invitations are fine--we might come to denver for a weekend over your spring break and help write them. low key decorations are fine too, though i do love your idea of flower arrangements for close relatives who have passed away. i would like one for my parents (Faye and Edward Weltz).
3. dan would like us to give you money to travel instead of a rehearsal dinner--that's what we are planning to do, if that is what you would like as well--that will allow you to travel in relative comfort and stay at nice places.
4. i'm not a frilly person either--when you ask my favorite flower, my first thought was calla lillies because diego rivera and frida kahlo painted them, but calla lilies are not especially pretty.
i'll write to you if i think of anything else. we are meeting your parents for dinner when they are in l.a. for your brother's parents weekend. should be fun.
we love you already,
marilyn
